My Sweet Francesca
Dear Dungarees,
I spent the first 18 years of my life too selfish to be a pet person. As the last-born only daughter, I was confident the world revolved happily around me. (One can’t be a responsible pet owner if one thinks the universe circles around oneself.) The idea of owning a pet has never appealed to me. Well...except for that one time as a teenager, I thought it would be great to own a dog but I was the very worst dog owner of all time. (Sorry you were saddled with my weird untrained dog after I moved out Mom and Dad.)
Years passed and my prefrontal cortex emerged along with the arrival of my children. Eventually, I shed the selfish cocoon of youth and stepped into the glory of adulthood. At NO point in my adulting journey did I desire a pet. I love my children. My heart walks amidst these 7 beautiful miracles, and they all carry pieces of me with them wherever they go and I am better for knowing and loving them. Being a mom is beautiful. But the responsibility of raising kids was great and I couldn't imagine caring for another creature. No pets, please.
Inevitably, requests came. "Hey Mom, can we get a (fill in the blank) rabbit, lizard, fish, dog, chicken, piranha..." And the answer was always no. Except once when we tried rescue dog ownership, but that was a terrible match. Despite scarring our children for life, we had no choice but to rehome the wall-eating, running away continually, crate-pooping, insane dogs.
And then…
Something incredible happened to me in January of 2021, the moment I laid eyes on the farm's resident trauma llama, Francesca. I've only ever experienced a pull like this twice before. Once when I met my first mountain goat while backpacking in the Jewel Basin and again when I met a camel for the first time in Bahrain. Upon meeting each of these three creatures I felt like a missing piece was returned to me, which I have always sought.
It's impossible for me to explain this pull, this connection to these animals. It's almost supernatural in nature and I can't contain or control it even if I try. My body responds to these heavenly beings in ways I've never experienced before. Upon first meeting my heart expanded ten times its original size, my eyebrows flew up, and I smiled softly as silent tears fell. In awe and wonder, the world outside faded away much like a 5-year-old at Christmas. Though grounded on earth, my spirit soared to the heavens to thank the creator for creating such majesty. My chest nearly burst from a love I never knew existed, all within a fraction of a second. The most life-altering second.
As I sit here months later, I reflect on how much I love these animals even though 2 are outside my grasp. Mountain goats would never be happy on the farm (or so I'm told). Fine farmer assured me if they would live content here he would catch one for me. However, it would be a sad mountain goat and no one wants to cause a mountain goat misery. RIP mountain goat ownership dreams. As for the camels I met, they belonged to the Bahrain sheik and unfortunately were not for sale. Let it be known that I did vote for the purchase of camels at the first few farm family meetings. However, I was vetoed with much fervor.
And then there was one. My sweet Francesca. Besides being rescued and brought to this farm years ago, I don't know her past. Rescue animals often have sad stories, and I never want to hear hers. She's too majestic, too divine to imagine bad things happening. I don’t know her age and I don’t like to think about that anyways because she will never die. I can’t live in a world without a Francesca.
I intend to be the best friend our llama has ever known. So far my efforts have been met with indifference but I'm sure Francesca will come around. I let her know the majority of people and goats find me quite likable. It has not, however, altered her stoic view of me and that's ok. We have the rest of our farmy lives together for her to fall in love with me. Me+Francesca=Friends 4evr.
She’s Like the Wind
Feel her breath in my face
Her body close to me
Can't look in her eyes
She's out of my league
Just a fool to believe
I have anything she needs
She's like the wind
~Patrick Swayze
